Disappointment and loss.......

[Bobute]

Too Big to Put Behind


Rachel Naomi Remen



"Disappointment and loss are a part of every life. Many times we can
put them behind us and get on with the rest of our lives. But not
everything is amenable to this approach. Some things are too big or
too deep to do this, and we will have to leave important parts of
ourselves behind if we treat them in this way. These are the places
where wisdom begins to grow in us. It begins with suffering that we
do not avoid or rationalize or put behind us. It starts with the
realization that our loss, whatever it is, has become a part of us
and has altered our lives so profoundly that we cannot go back to the
way it was before.

The thing about the many strategies we use to shelter ourselves from
feeling loss is that none of them leads to healing. Although denial,
rationalization, substitution, avoidance, and the like may numb the
pain of loss, every one of them hurts us in some far more fundamental
ways. None is respectful toward life or toward process. None
acknowledges our capacity for finding meaning or wisdom."


Source: Rachel Naomi Remen, MD. "My Grandfather's Blessings"


What is she saying to you? How do you feel about this? We have all
experienced disappointment. A loss of somekind, not necessaarly
death. What are your feelings when you are faced with these two facts
of life?
We cannot avoid them, cross the street, dodge the bullet so to
speak. None of us want it, look for it, yet it always manages to show
up in our lives. Unannounced. No warning like Katrina. No advanced
notice, although sometimes if we listen, we know.
There is that small voice, my grandmother always said, a good
angel on one shoulder, a bad on the other. We must as Annette always
tells us, "open the wound, to let it begin to heal."
Does it hurt? You bet your sweet bippy it does. Does it heal? Not
always until it is opened many times. Finding the source of our
healing is not always easy. Out of the frying pan into the fire
sometimes. Ouch!!! Now what?
The answers are within you. Not the outside, but deep within you.
There are a bunch of "helpful hints" outside, all around us. Until we
do the work they are only what they are.
Yes I said "work." It is work to heal from loss and
disappointment. I have been at it for 71 years now and as soon as I
get one thing kinda worked out, along comes another. Simple, life and
living. Being here, needing, wanting, searching, finding, feeling,
you maybe able to add more.
Maybe we should begin to think about searching for the meaning to
current happenings before we go jumping in deep water finding more of
the same. It will happen you know, more of the same, until we figure
it it.

Namaste
Bobute Marinochka
grandmother from the sea
Mother of George
xoxox