Holidays and Alzheimer's Families

[alice]

Holidays and Alzheimer's Families


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The holidays are a time when family and friends often come together. But for families living with Alzheimer's and other dementias, the holidays can be challenging. Take a deep breath. With some planning and adjusted expectations, your celebrations can still be happy, memorable occasions.
Familiarize others with the situation
Adjust expectations
Involve the person with dementia
Adapt gift giving
When the person lives in a care facility




Familiarize others with the situation



The holidays are full of emotions, so it can help to let guests know what to expect before they arrive.

If the person is in the early stages of Alzheimer's, relatives and friends might not notice any changes. But the person with dementia may have trouble following conversation or tend to repeat him- or herself. Family can help with communication by being patient, not interrupting or correcting, and giving the person time to finish his or her thoughts.

If the person is in the middle or late stages of Alzheimer's, there may be significant changes in cognitive abilities since the last time an out-of-town friend or relative has visited. These changes can be hard to accept. Make sure visitors understand that changes in behavior and memory are caused by the disease and not the person.

You may find this easier to share changes in a letter or email that can be sent to multiple recipients. Here are some examples:

>> "I'm writing to let you know how things are going at our house. While we're looking forward to your visit, we thought it might be helpful if you understood our current situation before you arrive.

>> "You may notice that ___ has changed since you last saw him/her. Among the changes you may notice are ___.

>> "Because ___ sometimes has problems remembering and thinking clearly, his/her behavior is a little unpredictable.

>> "Please understand that ___ may not remember who you are and may confuse you with someone else. Please don't feel offended by this. He/she appreciates your being with us and so do I."

For more ideas on how to let others know about changes in your loved one, join ALZConnected, our online support community where caregivers like you share tips on what has worked for them.

Adjust expectations




From our Blog


The Gift of Perspective
The stress of caregiving layered with holiday traditions can take a toll ... read more.
Call a meeting to discuss upcoming plans.
The stress of caregiving responsibilities layered with holiday traditions can take a toll. Invite family and friends to a face-to-face meeting, or if geography is an obstacle, set up a telephone conference call. Make sure everyone understands your caregiving situation and has realistic expectations about what you can do. Be honest about any limitations or needs, such as keeping a daily routine.
Be good to yourself.
Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage. If you've always invited 15 to 20 people to your home, consider paring it down to a few guests for a simple meal. Let others contribute. Have a potluck dinner or ask them to host at their home. You also may want to consider breaking large gatherings up into smaller visits of two or three people at a time to keep the person with Alzheimer's and yourself from getting overtired.

Do a variation on a theme.
If evening confusion and agitation are a problem, consider changing a holiday dinner into a holiday lunch or brunch. If you do keep the celebration at night, keep the room well-lit and try to avoid any known triggers.

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Involve the person with dementia

Build on past traditions and memories.
Focus on activities that are meaningful to the person with dementia. Your family member may find comfort in singing old holiday songs or looking through old photo albums.
Involve the person in holiday preparation.
As the person's abilities allow, invite him or her to help you prepare food, wrap packages, help decorate or set the table. This could be as simple as having the person measure an ingredient or hand decorations to you as you put them up. (Be careful with decoration choices. Blinking lights may confuse or scare a person with dementia, and decorations that look like food could be mistaken as edible.)
Maintain a normal routine.
Sticking to the person's normal routine will help keep the holidays from becoming disruptive or confusing. Plan time for breaks and rest.

[alice]

I always found it is a good idea to plan a quite time with music in the loved ones bedroom with a family member when you see your loved one is getting restless , et. Its not worth causing them confusion, et. All of that can bring on behavior changes. Even eating in the bedroom ..just keeping the calm without big changes I feel worked for my husband.
A quiet get together in the beginning sometimes works. Change is not always good...calm is always good. : ).